This book is a comprehensive and unique guide on how to write your own wedding vows. In the United States, there are 2.4 million weddings every year--no two will be exactly alike. Yet whatever the differences, every wedding is guaranteed to include a ceremony that unites the couple as husband and wife. A growing trend in wedding ceremonies is breaking with traditions, or creating your own traditions, to customize your wedding. One of the most important rituals to be personalized is the wedding vow. However, often times writing your own wedding vows is a very difficult and stressful experience. This book is the authoritative answer to these essential questions: 7 How much of your religion's traditional vows should you include? 7 Is your favorite poem appropriate for the setting you are in or should you just memorize a couple of lines? 7 Are you stuck on what to say after "I knew you were the one the moment we met"? 7 Are your favorite Led Zeppelin song lyrics an appropriate expression of how you feel about your fianci? So many questions, such high probability of humiliation and embarrassment in front of friends, family, and your mother
Introduction
You (or someone you love) are getting married.
Over two million weddings are held each year in the United States.
Remarkably, no two will be exactly alike. Yet whatever the differences
-- the formality of attire, the kind of flowers, the size of the guest
list, the flavor of frosting on the cake -- each and every one of those
weddings is guaranteed to include one element: a ceremony that
unites the couple as husband and wife.
In most cases, once an engagement is announced, the planning goes into
high gear. The bride searches for the perfect gown. Decisions about
invitations, flowers, tuxedos, caterers, and countless other elements
must be made. China patterns are weighed against one another, and
planning begins for the perfect romantic honeymoon.
In the frenzy of planning wedding events, the ceremony itself -- the
ritual that joins the bride and groom together -- can be overlooked. Yet
no part of the day is likely to be more personally meaningful to the
couple or more moving to their guests. Ultimately, the ceremony, that
exchange of vows, is the very heart and soul of the wedding celebration.
And in an era when interfaith and intercultural marriages are more
common than ever before in human history, the ceremony can be a source
of anxiety, concern, and even conflict. Making decisions about the
ceremony forces a couple to take a position with regard to such
important issues as religion, family, history, heritage, duty, honor,
and the very essence of their commitment to one another. A couple's
decision to have or not have a religious ceremony, to include or not
include vows of obedience and fidelity, even the decision about who, if
anyone, "gives away" the bride -- all these and dozens more can become
points of conflict and controversy between the couple and within their
families.
For many couples, the right choice is a ceremony that features the
exchange of personal vows -- either as the sole vows of the ceremony or
in addition to more traditional vows. Deciding to write your own vows is
relatively easy; but for most couples, actually writing them is tough.
Even the most expressive person can end up with a classic case of
"writer's block" when faced with finding the right words to express his
or her love for a future spouse. Knowing that you will proclaim these
vows in front of your closest family and friends usually makes it even
more daunting.
It is my hope that this book will help you learn about the
possibilities, evaluate the options, make meaningful choices, negotiate
past conflicts, quell your own fears, and get what you want -- a
wonderful wedding ceremony, one that's exactly right for you. I hope it
will inspire you to see beyond the "show" of the wedding celebration and
focus carefully for a few moments, on what it means to articulate your
commitment to one another. I hope the information and advice contained
herein will help you get past any anxiety you might have about putting
pen to paper and expressing the depth of your feelings for and
commitment to your intended. And I hope that the vows you exchange on
your wedding day will help guide you each and every day thereafter
toward building a great marriage -- one filled with comfort, joy,
laughter, and, most of all, love.
Copyright © 2001 by Susan Lee Smith
Susan Lee Smith is the producer and editor of WeddingChannel.com and an acknowledged expert in wedding planning. She lives in Los Angeles.
